Hello, anon! I’m really happy to hear that you enjoy my posts! However, on the subject of becoming friends, I’m afraid I am at a disadvantage as I don’t know anything about you.
(I get questions like this a lot and I have been meaning to address it. So this is not just for this particular anon but everyone who have asked similar questions.)
As much as I would like to think it would be so easy to become friends with someone just by asking, I’ve come to learn that it’s not that simple. Perhaps it is particularly true for someone like me, since I share photos and some stories about myself and my friends. People tend to build expectations, and get the feeling that they know me so well — when in reality they don’t know much at all. There’s more to who I am than what I choose to share online, after all.
On a bit of a darker note, I have had my trust betrayed in the past by people who claimed to have wanted to be friends. I hope this helps you understand why I am being kinda guarded.
That does not mean I am shutting out the possibility. I have been honest with you, and that is something friends would do, isn’t it? If you decide on trying again not anonymously, please don’t ask directly if we can be friends, as I believe that friendship is not something that is built on one simple question.
Maybe try interacting with me first. Perhaps you could leave comments on my public page posts in which we could discuss something we might have in common. I don’t know. Maybe you have other ideas.
It might be worth noting that I’m not fond of private messages in which people try to engage me in small talk like, “What’s up?”
THE SKY IS UPI’m uncomfortable with one-on-ones with someone I’m not familiar with, I’m not good at small talk, and there are so many things that are “up” that I would exhaust myself figuring out where to begin. Hahah. I don’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings; I am just being real here.
I guess it’s kind of like in real life: Casually exchanging comments in a public place is no problem. But when someone unfamiliar sends a private message for unclear reasons, I feel like I’ve been cornered in an alley. (If they have a question or a definite message to express then that’s fine.)
If you do decide to try leaving me comments, just be sincere and be true to who you are. I can’t promise anything, but that sounds like a pretty good place to start. :)
I’m certain there are people who dislike me. Some I come to know through whisperings because I have eyes everyyyyywheeeeere
However, I don’t feel the need to acknowledge them or do anything about it unless they are causing any real harm, especially to people I are about.
There is a popular quote that I like referencing for this topic, which gets the message across in a charming way:
“You can be a juicy, ripe peach and there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches, so you can either submit to someone’s criticism of you, or you can get on with the business of being your own amazing self who attracts other like-minded people that appreciate you.” — Dita Von Teese
I used to be affected if I found out someone didn’t like me, but I’ve come to learn that people can have very irrational reasons for hating someone.
Sometimes it is simply because your personalities and tastes are not compatible. And that’s fine and normal.
Other times, they can take a part of you and twist it and build up their own negative perception and convince themselves that they are right to hate you. But it doesn’t mean that what they think about you is true. Their image of you that they force upon themselves could be due to their own insecurities.
Although I sometimes say this jokingly, I find that in certain cases it’s not just simply “Haters gonna hate.”
I also dislike it when people jump to the conclusion, “They just hate you because they’re jealous.” While it can be true at times, it’s not the ultimate answer. Let’s be real here. It is not surprising for people to feel a sense of dislike towards someone who is truly being a terrible human being. Did you do something that merits you being considered a terrible human being? If the answer is no, then good.
Here’s what you can do: If someone openly throws some harsh words at you, take a deep breath and try to objectively consider what they have to say. Maybe you can ask yourself things like:
- Are they actually trying to offer constructive criticism but are lacking in tact and eloquence? If they seem interesting or intelligent enough, try to converse with them to understand. Maybe you’ll learn something new.
- Are they pointing out something you may have done wrong that you weren’t aware of? Do you think they are right? If they are, be humble enough to consider that you might have something to improve on. If they’re not, then just don’t mind them. If someone is really set on disliking you, you’re the last person they will allow to change their minds.
These are just general ideas, because it always depends on the context. But in the end, what’s important is that if you truly believe you did nothing wrong, then disregard them and carry on.
Hopefully you aren’t a sociopath.
You can’t please every single person in the world. And that’s okay. The people whose happiness and opinions should matter the most are your own and those of the people you care about and care for you. If you focus on being your own fantastic self, you can feel sorry for your haters because they lost the opportunity to get to know the wonderful person you are.